Getting started - boundaries
Setting Mentoring boundaries
It is important to consider the boundaries in advance; mentors setting appropriate limits with their young man.
Key4Life do have a set of basic boundaries to keep both the young man and mentor safe. There are others that you may need to set with the young person depending on the situation.
There is not a “one size fits all” list!
Key4Life boundaries
- verbal abuse or violence in the relationship is never ok
- romantic relationships between mentor and mentee are unacceptable
- mentors and the young person must never knowingly be put in danger
- all details regarding the mentee must not be discussed outside of Key4Life without the express permission of the mentee. (i.e. to promote the work of the charity)
- all contact details of the mentee must be kept securely and in confidence
- mentors are not to give out home details, without prior discussion with Key4Life management
- Key4Life has a zero tolerance policy with alcohol and drugs misuse. Any mentee found to be misusing alcohol or drugs will be referred to a specialist agency and may be suspended from the programme.
- Key4Life has a duty to disclose to relevant authorities any knowledge of criminal activity by mentee and any suspicion of sexual or physical abuse.
- Key4Life must be informed in advance of all meeting places and times with mentees. (Further training regarding safety and safeguarding during mentee visits will be given)
Where to start
There is no one set of boundaries for any situation. It is great to look at the above list with your mentee and then to discuss with them what other boundaries should be added.
Brainstorming different thoughts can be a good place to start. Some areas to think about include:
- Where are good places to meet and not to meet?
- Would you talk about sex?
- Would you discuss your own experiences with alcohol/drugs etc (if appropriate)?
What to consider if it’s not on your list
All the planning in the world will not prepare you for every situation.
Here are five things to consider in deciding how to deal with a situation.
- Is it in the boundaries set out by Key4Life?
- Is it legal? Is it safe? Will someone be harmed?
- Does it contradict any boundaries set by the young person’s parents/guardians?
- Will it build on the set of skills, experiences, relationships, and behaviours that enable young people to develop into successful and contributing adults?
- Does it sit comfortably with your expectation of mentoring?
Quote from Mother Teresa
"We know only too well that what we are doing is nothing more than a drop in the ocean. But if the drop were not there, the ocean would be missing something.”
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